1. I Encountered DIRTY POLAROIDS OF THEM

When I was in 3rd grade, I saw Polaroids of my parents get down and dirty on their honeymoon. Being the plunge shit that I was, I accompanied them to academy and transactions them to one of my friends for a holographic Charizard card. They never found out. I still have the card. I win.

2. MOM’S CONDOMS WERE TOO SMALL

I went busy with my BF in my mum’s bunked once…we didn’t have a condom handy, so I reached into her bedside table drawer and drew one out….It was too small.

3. I STOLE MY MOM’S CREDIT CARD

I stole my mom’s credit card when I was 13 is payable for a RuneScape membership.

4. I HAD SEX WITH MY COUSIN

I had fornication with my cousin when we were in high school. Twice.

5. I HAD SEX WITH FOUR OF MY COUSINS

That between the ages of 11-13 I had sex with four of my cousins who were all in high school( not at the same occasion ). Today, I am still close to one of them in a totally non-sexual channel, two of them are lost to drugs eternally in another state, and the one who took my chastity … well, I detest him. I maybe wouldn’t detest him so much better except for the fact that I entirely trusted him when I was 11. Formerly I went old-fashioned enough to realize what had happened, I experienced betrayed. I do not believe that I would have had fornication with my other cousins if I had not “ve just lost my” virginity to him. Too, when I was 18, he came over to my house drink and tried to get me to sleep with him again because he wanted to know how good I had get since I was older. No, pussyfoot. I’m 32 now and I have just been heard him formerly since the working day. He lives in another part of the country with his beautiful partner and two children. I experience heartbreaking when I look at photographs of her on Facebook because she is so beautiful and dessert. She has no idea how much of a slither that he really is, she feels she wedded a good man. Instead she wedded a child fucker who no doubt cheats on her because he has never been faithful. Their marriage is on the rocks for reasons unknown to me but…I is simply speculate. I hope she gets out soon and I hope he does NOT move back home. I’m sure nobody will read this but damn it finds good to get onto off my chest.

6. OUR DOG WAS EATEN BY SKUNKS

I take my dog out to play retrieve one day in the summer. We play behind my house in the meadow it is by the edge of the forest; regardless my dog run away into the wood, I chase after him and I find him in a skunk cavern getting eaten by the skunks. I tell my mummy he got lost in the forest and i never did find him. I did not tell my mummy I did find him but he was a skunk lunch.

7. I break-dance my mamas waterbed having sex

I interrupted my mummies waterbed having sex, the same nighttime she came home very drunk and when she woke up in the morning she reputed she did and didn’t remember.

8. I WAS IN PRISON, NOT IN SPAIN

That the month I was living a month in Spain was actually spent in prison. I had friends to post phony Instagram drawings for me, too.

9. THE ROPE WAS FOR BONDAGE, NOT SUICIDE

When I was in middle school I was a horny( and kinky) teenage son, one darknes I couldn’t sleep and I was jerking off in my bedroom. For some reason I got it in my brain to use the rope( I was a Boy scout and used it for camping…mostly) and I messed around a bit with self-bondage. Nothing extreme, tying sides or ankles, etc. Well, I finished jerking off and went to sleep. Next morning mummy aftermaths me up and construes the rope. I didn’t understand but she was worried and asking why I had the rope out. I lied reading I was just messing around with my Boy scout knots, exactly bored and couldn’t sleep. She had me start see the school therapist, and coincidentally I likewise was emphasized from school and life. And we had a discussion about how accented I was, etc. It was an psychological exchange etc. It wasn’t until a few months later that I realise she thought I had been thinking about suicide. And I never told her otherwise, because suicide was the furthest from my imagination, but I wasn’t sure she’d be comforted in knowing her son was interested in bondage, etc.

10. I HAD SEX WITH A COUCH

My dad strolled in on me after I had sexuality with a couch; he didnt know it, though. I was having copulation with the lounge and i fell asleep while bending on it.( I was shirtless and pantless with my boxers down to my knees, knelt over the couch with my dick in between the couch cushions, in my front room, when my father turns on the lights and aftermaths me up .) He asked me what i was doing and i shouldnt fall asleep like that. He didnt know my dick was in between the cushions. And where reference is turned around i pulled out and gather my boxers back up. He still doesnt know.

11. I KICKED A HOLE IN THE DOOR OVER A VIDEO GAME, NOT A GIRL

I employed my foot through my bedroom opening after I lost an online competition on UFC 09. The guy kicked my ass and then PMd me abuse i used ran berserk. I told my pa it was over a girl who counterfeited maternity with me and that she was phoning me. Truth is i hadn’t spoken to her in months and didn’t want to admit it was over a video game.

12. THEY HAVE A NINE-YEAR-OLD GRANDSON THEY NEVER SAW

I am from the UK, when I was 16 I was holidaying in Mexico and terminated up banging this American girlfriend. Flew home and apparently thought that’s that, we literally live thousands of miles away I’ll never hear from her again. I’m 25 now and two years ago I got a meaning on Facebook from her saying that she got pregnant and had the newborn and that I have a son, she moved me some visualizes and he does actually look like me. I wouldn’t even consider telling my parents about this until I have absolute proof that the boy is excavation, but even then it would interrupt their hearts to know they have a 9-year-old grandson they never determined. At the instant I’m kind of just playing it by ear.

13. MULTIPLE DRUGS, MULTIPLE SUICIDE ATTEMPTS

Grew up with parents who were divorced. Lived with my Momma and Stepdad. Dad was a cranny/ cokehead but took me every few weekends and I cherished him very much still. At 14 my Stepdad was killed and my Mom became an absent closet-alcoholic. My Dad got his shit together for me so he spent two years in a live-in reclamation residence and my Mom left me alone in our house dwelling from ages 14 -1 6 to pursue a new tie-in in a city hours away. I retained them up to date on my best good tiers and enjoyable extracurricular athletics and whatnot, but I was lying. I fell into hard drugs and became addicted to coke and MDMA and booze. I embezzled nutrient so I could chew, but I also stole robes and makeup and alcohol and everything else I required solely because I wanted it. I tried to kill myself multiple times. All in under two years. I don’t plan on telling either of them that.

14. I formerly took too much salvia and was move for 70 years

I formerly took too much salvia and was departed for 70 times. I traveled trough the universe, objective up on the other side of it. Was an integrated part of an intergalactic lawyer and represented humanity. After justifying land and humanity to them in their own language that they taught me, I traveled back and crash-landed in my friends’ sofa as a completely empty shell, everything about me was proceed. I started with the classic Where am I, Who are you…Who am I? They started talking about here me but I did not understand its own language, so I thought to myself Hah, you sound so silly. Then my whole life twinkled in front of my seeings and I was back to ordinary. Fucked-up shit.

15. I Made THE SCREW IN THE TUNA

I was the one who set the jailer in the tuna.

16. My friend physically and emotionally abused me when I was young

My brother physically and emotionally abused me when I was young. He’s 10 years younger than me and a big guy, so I couldn’t do anything about it. My parents weren’t around that is something that either, so my siblings were often held liable for taking care of me. Sometimes my brother would razz me around my parents and I would start hollering instantaneously, simply to be told by them that I was being extremely feelings. They didn’t realize that my crying was because of how ashamed he made “i m feeling” in general. So I read rapidly not to tell them if bad things are going on. To this day my mum often tries to convince me to talk to my brother( it’s been two years of no contact) and thinks that I’m being very mean to him. It would smash my parents if they knew the things he answered/ did to me. So I keep it between me and my therapist.

17. I Add A FALSE POLICE REPORT TO AVOID GETTING IN TROUBLE

When I was 13 and my little bro was 11, we stayed at the mall WAY past when we were supposed to come home, like a few hours. This was the time before cell phone. On the course home we hatched a programme. We designed a lie that involved us being detained by a mall security guard for running down a back hallway of the mall. We even came up with a real person to base this security guard on, in case we were questioned separately. We pretty much described to our mom the pro wrestler Dean Malenko. It was perfect. Little did we know, there was a person in our field pose as a polouse and kidnapping brats. Mom called the cops. My friend and I separately had to give affirmations about what happened. The situation is, the lie hold back. The cops told Mom that there was a good chance this was the guy. IIRC there may have even been a little blurp in the news about a sighting of this guy at the plaza we frequented. We threw a wrench in an investigation, generated a minor local intimidate, scared the shit out of our Mom, and ruined our liberty to stroll to the plaza by ourselves for 6 months, all because we didn’t want to get into fus for being 3 hours late getting home.

18. REPEATED SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

I had suicidal believes when I was a kid. I would get kitchen bayonets and take them up to the bathroom when no one was home and is an attempt section my wrists, but I ever purposed up retching instead.

19. I Smashed MOM’S COUCH HAVING SEX ON IT

You know the last couch “youve had”, mama? Yeh it didn’t really transgress when I sat on it. It did break-dance nonetheless when I has indeed energetic, rough copulation with a girl who I wasn’t in a relationship with.

20. I’M TERRIBLY DEPRESSED

I’m abysmally depressed and have considered suicide multiple times.

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