Although it seems like a lifetime ago, and certainly the life of another woman, I can easily recollect when I realise my husband had been lying to me. How had I been so naive? I wondered. We were out of the honeymoon phase, but had not been married very long at all when I discovered the kinds of things that will break a wedlock. I can still remember vividly the look on my husband’s face as sorrowful snaps descended and he lay smashed before me.
“You’re going to leave me, aren’t you? ” He whispered.
But even more than I echo his shameful rends do I recollect the astonished, unbelieving look upon his face when I answered.
“No. No, I’m not.” I said. “I love you.”
And we just hugged and cried for a long time. I cried tears of heartache at cartel burst. He had lived “peoples lives” I wasn’t even is conscious of, right underneath my nose.
The next year of wedding produced a new mode to live out our covenant to God, and to one another. I expended a lot of time watching him through restrict, doubting seeings, searching his pockets when I feel his throbs on the storey, or looking swiftly through his telephone when he walked away. If he got a phone call I needed to know who it was, and if “hes been gone” somewhere I was chomping at the chip wondering where. I was a suspicious bride, and I’m not saying I shouldn’t have been. After all, his past acts had not been the stuff of saints. But then again, neither had mine.
I remember that period as one where I consistently felt like he was lying to me, even when he wasn’t, and I absolutely believe that my obvious distrust somehow pushed him is becoming more secretive just for spite. But I cannot say for sure. I just know that at some object as I seemed up on a pill-finder website the information for an unrecognizable vessel I had are available in his pocket that I recognise it couldn’t continue like this for the long term. As I gazed at the website telling me the innocent parentage of this acid reflux pill I had craftily discovered, I knew I had to let it go. Eventually you have to trust again. Eventually you have to surrender to God the things you cannot control. Eventually you have to stop worrying and start praying.
And so began my assignment of intercession for my spouse and our marriage. It started with surrender, generating back to God what was rightfully His, and trusting the Lord with the elements of my husband that I could not change. I stopped focusing so much on what he might be doing wrong and started working on what I could do right. But above all I prayed. I didn’t pray selfishly, expecting God to change him for me. I prayed for my husband’s benefit, that he could be the man God had him to be.
Over the rest of that time I watched my union transform into something beautiful and pleasing to the Lord. I received my husband grow in his personal relationship with Jesus , and that in turn drew him closer to me. We both consume so much time in the word of God that it began to bleed out into our relations, and how we treated and discovered one another changed. I stopped being suspicious because the Lord “ve been told” I needed to stop. I was allowing the past to foul the future, and I wasn’t yielding him an inch. When I stopped trying to catch my husband in the wrong and instead prayed God would contribute him right, things took on a different light-colored. Though he never said it, I know my husband saw I was plowing him differently. And as a bonus he began to be less secretive. He started living like an open book to his wife who was no longer trying to desperately riffle through the pages.
Our particular situation took rebuilding of trust among other things, but my determination to pray for my marriage has never aimed. When you decide to live with someone through sickness and health, better or worse, forever then you have to allow some loss of control. As a woman you cannot supported the key to a joyou, healthy union all to yourself. You have to hand over the reigns of the things you cannot control to God. Turns out your spouse is not your project and you cannot change him alone. But you can pray. And oh my goodness do prayers move mountains. Prayers smash series, prayers rebuild relationships and devotions change middles. The supremacy of a praying partner is nothing to be supposed with, and an honest, selfless praying spouse continues more influence in her union than she ever imagined. She finally has some real power in the relationship because she has entrusted it to God, and He is faithful to do more than a worrying spouse could ever do on her own.
Even if rely issues don’t exist, the fact remains that men and women are different. Another human will never be the picture-perfect version of life you dream for, but they can be moderately superb. No amount of nagging will transform a personality, but devotion gets it pretty close. And then something wonderful happens when you commit to pray for your marriage. You find somewhere along the way that God is changing your middle more. He’s refining you both for His service, and what He assembles together no one can put asunder.
Prayer changes things. Isn’t that what they say? But you don’t have to take my text for it. Only get down on your knees and view what happens.