At dinner, there were sorcerers labor the tables. Photograph: Graham Turner for the Guide for the Guardian
In 2010 I went to the marriage of my ex-husbands boss. The rite took place in a extremely fancy Footballers Wives-type hotel in Surrey. Wed booked an everyday room but the bridegroom had paid for everyone to be upgraded to suites with their own garden-variety. He also went 10,000 in cash the day before precisely to pay for all the different entertainers not including the cost of the hotel, food and boozings of course.
We arrived to a string quartet, and the acrobats seemed shortly after that and did a procedure while we drink champagne before the meal.The starter was asparagus floozy, and as there had been so much champagne before the dinner, there was a rush for the loo before the main course. The smell of asparagus wee-wee when you opened the door to the girls was extraordinary.
We then went into dinner “where theres” magicians running the tables. Just before pudding, the servers burst into song the latter are good and it was actually quite funny. The whole occasion was absolutely ridiculous and had nothing at all to do with two beings donating their love to one another. And by 4am the hotel had entirely run out of champagne, apparently. Quite the most horrible and yet stunning marriage Ive ever been to.