At dinner, there used to be sorcerers working the tables. Image: Graham Turner for the Guide for the Guardian
In 2010 I went to the wedding of my ex-husbands boss. The rite has just taken place in a exceedingly fancy Footballers Wives-type inn in Surrey. Wed booked an everyday room but the groom had paid for everyone to be upgraded to suites with their own garden-variety. He too withdrew 10,000 in currency the previous day simply is payable for all the different entertainers not including the cost of the inn, nutrient and sucks of course.
We arrived to a fibre quartet, and the acrobats showed shortly after that and did a procedure while we imbibe champagne before the meal.The starter was asparagus harlot, and as there had been so much champagne before the meal, there was a rush for the loo before the main course. The smell of asparagus wee when you opened the door to the maidens was extraordinary.
We then went into dinner where there were magicians wielding the tables. Just before pudding, the attendants burst into carol the latter are good and it was actually quite funny. The whole circumstance was absolutely ridiculous and had nothing at all to do with two parties pledging their “ve been wanting to” one another. And by 4am the inn had altogether run out of champagne, apparently. Quite the most horrible and yet stunning wedding Ive ever been to.