At dinner, there were magicians cultivating the tables. Photo: Graham Turner for the Guide for the Guardian
In 2010 I went to the marriage of my ex-husbands boss. The liturgy took place in a exceedingly fancy Footballers Wives-type inn in Surrey. Wed booked an ordinary chamber but the groom had paid for everyone to be upgraded to suites with their own garden-variety. He also receded 10,000 in money the day before only is payable for all the different entertainers not including the cost of the hotel, nutrient and alcohols of course.
We arrived to a fibre quartet, and the acrobats sounded shortly after that and did a number while we imbibe champagne before the meal.The starter was asparagus tart, and as the man has been so much champagne before the snack, there was a rush for the loo before the main course. The smell of asparagus wee-wee when you opened the door to the maids was extraordinary.
We then went into dinner “where theres” magicians running the tables. Just before pudding, the attendants burst into song the latter are good and it was actually quite funny. The whole circumstance was absolutely ridiculous and had nothing at all to do with two beings donating their “ve been wanting to” each other. And by 4am the hotel had solely run out of champagne, apparently. Quite the most horrible and hitherto stupefying marriage Ive ever been to.