At dinner, there were sorcerers cultivating the tables. Photo: Graham Turner for the Guide for the Guardian
In 2010 I went to the marriage of my ex-husbands boss. The rite took place in a extremely fancy Footballers Wives-type hotel in Surrey. Wed booked an ordinary area but the bridegroom had paid for everyone to be upgraded to suites with their own plot. He likewise receded 10,000 in currency the previous day merely is payable for all the various entertainers not including the cost of the inn, nutrient and alcohols of course.
We arrived to a string quartet, and the acrobats emerged shortly after that and did a routine while we imbibe champagne before the meal.The starter was asparagus floozy, and as there had been so much champagne before the banquet, there was a rush for the loo before the main course. The smell of asparagus wee-wee when you opened the door to the females was extraordinary.
We then went into dinner where there used to be magicians running the tables. Just before pudding, the servers burst into anthem the latter are good and it was actually quite funny. The whole occasion was absolutely ridiculous and had nothing at all to do with two parties donating their love to one another. And by 4am the inn had wholly run out of champagne, apparently. Quite the most horrible and yet stunning wedding Ive ever been to.