Its the first territory inspect of Donald Trumps presidency, and the superpower foursome have really delivered the goods

Never will we be offering such a dream adjust of press photos as the three period Macron-Trump tete-a-tete, the first day of which has realized the foursome see the former residence of George Washington and awkwardly plant a tree. As presents from France to the US know, some have pointed out that this tree is not exactly up there with the Statue of Liberty. The tree is more of a flowers-from-the-petrol station sort of effort.( It is, though, apparently substantial foliage, in that the oak changed on one of France’s former first world war battlefields ).

The Macrons’ trip is the first state visit from foreign captains to Trump, who is the first president in 100 years not to have braced a government visit in his first year of office. It’s difficult to be a good host, between watching Fox& Friends, tweeting relentlessly and egregiously piquing most sectors of our society at a caprice. But Trump elected the Macrons as a return invitation after he and Melania invested Bastille Day with the Macrons in Paris . Let us take a closer look at the latest pairs’ minibreak.

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Rolling the red carpet out, for, something … Photograph: Jacquelyn Martin/ AP

We begin with the above image, which I have titled, in homage to Magritte, Ceci n’est pas un avion . Because frankly, there is a glaring omission here.

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French President Macron and his wife, Brigitte, exiting their airliner. Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

I care about this image because Brigitte’s coat is amazing. There’s a Jackie Onassis colour-match here( albeit specifically the organization Onassis wore on the day of JFK’s assassination ). The coating is Louis Vuitton, one of Brigitte’s favourite names. The cigarette throbs are tres French. Her husband is simply garmented as a standard Amis, ie. A Man in a Clothing. But I note that Melania too chose a French designer to wear( Givenchy, with Louboutin shoes ); more on this outfit anon.

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Jackie O wearing one of her mark bold emblazon jackets. Photograph: Vin Cataani/ EPA

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‘ So, you hear …’ Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

Here’s Macron doing” the Blair” side gesture, since developed as the centrist premiere hand-move du jour . We’ve seen Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau utilise it, and even Angela Merkel. I have never seen anybody other than a politician do this with sides when they speak.

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Digging their own graves? Photograph: Jim Watson/ AFP/ Getty Images

The main event, the tree-planting. What I enjoy about this photograph is that neither Melania nor Brigitte has any remote intention of helping, while Trump and Macron bury their dying approval ratings and, perhaps in Trump’s instance, Michael Cohen’s paper trail from the Stormy Daniels case. And the Steele dossier. And all other intel on Russia. He’ll probably be finished by nightfall. Meanwhile, Brigitte has the pose of someone who just landed a blood-red and a light-green on her first two moves in video games of Twister.

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Work it, Melania Photograph: Jonathan Ernst/ Reuters

Perhaps the best shot of the cluster, because: Melania. As well as demonstrating the various kinds of epic hair flick that belongs on catwalks or in shampoo adverts( which would make sense, made Melania’s former modelling career) it’s interesting to suppose what she might be secreting under the cape. Perhaps a carry-on, containing all the stuff one needs when one is planning to run away from one’s awful partner? Or perhaps this is why the Macrons apparently didn’t need a plane, because Melania flew them over. We precisely don’t know.

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Harp at that! Photograph: Ludovic Marin/ AFP/ Getty Images

Please, give it up for random harmonica maid. Your typical woodland theatre headliner at Latitude Festival. Note Trump’s tepid billow- which, I’ll be honest, is probably the chasten response. The others are ignoring the harp female, in the manner of one accelerating one’s speed, heading down, past a tubing station busker with an eccentric instrument. I respect your decision to play the oboe sir, but is it genuinely working at the bottom of an escalator in King’s Cross?

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She’s out Photograph: Saul Loeb/ AFP/ Getty Images

I’m gonna give the body-language speak for itself here- because Melania, straight up, requires no part of this life any longer.

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