Its the first commonwealth call of Donald Trumps presidency, and the ability foursome have really delivered the goods

Never will we be offering such a dream make of press photos as the three era Macron-Trump tete-a-tete, the first day of which has investigated the foursome inspect the former home of George Washington and awkwardly plant a tree. As presents from France to the US circulate, some have pointed out that this tree is not exactly up there with the Statue of Liberty. The tree is more of a flowers-from-the-petrol station sort of effort.( It is, though, apparently significant foliage, in that the oak flourished on one of France’s former first world war battlefields ).

The Macrons’ excursion is the first state visit from foreign managers to Trump, who is the first president in 100 times not to have contained a state visit in his first year of its term of office. It’s difficult to be a good emcee, between watching Fox& Friends, tweeting relentlessly and egregiously piquing most sections of society at a whim. But Trump elected the Macrons as a return invitation after he and Melania expended Bastille Day with the Macrons in Paris . Let us take a closer look at the latest duets’ minibreak.

Rolling the red carpet out, for, something … Photograph: Jacquelyn Martin/ AP

We begin with the above image, which I have titled, in homage to Magritte, Ceci n’est pas un avion . Because frankly, there is a glaring omission here.

French President Macron and his wife, Brigitte, departing their plane. Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

I care about this image because Brigitte’s coat is amazing. There’s a Jackie Onassis colour-match here( albeit specific the clothing Onassis wore on the day of JFK’s assassination ). The coating is Louis Vuitton, one of Brigitte’s favourite descriptions. The cigarette gasps are tres French. Her husband is simply garmented as a standard Amis, ie. A Man in a Dres. But I note that Melania likewise elected a French designer to wear( Givenchy, with Louboutin shoes ); more on this outfit anon.

Jackie O wearing one of her trademark daring colour cases. Photograph: Vin Cataani/ EPA

‘ So, you witness …’ Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

Here’s Macron doing” the Blair” handwriting gesture, since developed as the centrist premier hand-move du jour . We’ve seen Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau utilise it, and even Angela Merkel. I have never seen anybody other than a politician do this with sides when they speak.

Digging their own graves? Photograph: Jim Watson/ AFP/ Getty Images

The main event, the tree-planting. What I experience about this photograph is that neither Melania nor Brigitte has any remote intention of helping, while Trump and Macron bury their dying approval ratings and, perhaps in Trump’s occasion, Michael Cohen’s paper trail from the Stormy Daniels case. And the Steele dossier. And all other intel on Russia. He’ll probably be finished by nightfall. Meanwhile, Brigitte has the constitute of someone who just landed a red-faced and a dark-green on her first two moves in video games of Twister.

Work it, Melania Photograph: Jonathan Ernst/ Reuters

Perhaps the best shot of the bunch, because: Melania. As well as illustrating the various kinds of epic hair flick that belongs on catwalks or in shampoo adverts( which would make sense, opened Melania’s former modelling job) it’s interesting to conjecture what she might be secreting under the cape. Perhaps a carry-on, containing all the stuff one needs when one is planning to run away from one’s awful spouse? Or perhaps this is why the Macrons apparently didn’t need an aeroplane, because Melania flew them over. We exactly don’t know.

Harp at that! Photograph: Ludovic Marin/ AFP/ Getty Images

Please, give it up for random harp girl. Your typical woodland stagecoach headliner at Latitude Festival. Note Trump’s tepid curve- which, I’ll be honest, is probably the chasten response. The others are ignoring the harp noblewoman, in the manner of one quickening one’s pace, brain down, past a tubing terminal busker with an eccentric instrument. I respect your decision to play the oboe sir, but is it really working at the bottom of an escalator in King’s Cross?

She’s out Photograph: Saul Loeb/ AFP/ Getty Images

I’m gonna let the body-language is talking about itself here- because Melania, straight up, wants no part of this life any longer.


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