Its the first state visit of Donald Trumps presidency, and the influence foursome are certainly delivered the goods

Never will we be endowed such a dream initiate of press photos as the three daytime Macron-Trump tete-a-tete, the first day of which has interpreted the foursome trip the former home of George Washington and awkwardly plant a tree. As presents from France to the US tour, some have pointed out that this tree is not exactly up there with the Statue of Liberty. The tree is more of a flowers-from-the-petrol station sort of effort.( It is, though, apparently substantial foliage, in that the oak proliferated on one of France’s former first world war battlegrounds ).

The Macrons’ trip is the first state visit from foreign leaders to Trump, who is the first president in 100 years not to have viewed a government visit in his first year of office. It’s difficult to be a good multitude, between watching Fox& Friends, tweeting relentlessly and egregiously offending most sections of society at a caprice. But Trump opted the Macrons as a return invitation after he and Melania spent Bastille Day with the Macrons in Paris . Let us take a closer look at the latest pairs’ minibreak.

Rolling the red carpet out, for, something … Photograph: Jacquelyn Martin/ AP

We begin with the above image, which I have titled, in homage to Magritte, Ceci n’est pas un avion . Because candidly, there is a glaring omission here.

French President Macron and his wife, Brigitte, exiting their aircraft. Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

I care about this image because Brigitte’s coat is amazing. There’s a Jackie Onassis colour-match here( albeit specifically the getup Onassis wore on the day of JFK’s assassination ). The hair is Louis Vuitton, one of Brigitte’s favourite names. The cigarette throbs are tres French. Her husband is simply dressed as a standard Amis, ie. A Man in a Dres. But I note that Melania also picked a French decorator to wear( Givenchy, with Louboutin shoes ); more on this outfit anon.

Jackie O wearing one of her trademark bold emblazon coats. Photograph: Vin Cataani/ EPA

‘ So, you accompany …’ Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

Here’s Macron doing” the Blair” handwriting gesture, since developed as the centrist premiere hand-move du jour . We’ve seen Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau utilise it, and even Angela Merkel. I have never seen anybody other than a politician do this with sides when they speak.

Digging their own graves? Photograph: Jim Watson/ AFP/ Getty Images

The main event, the tree-planting. What I experience about this photograph is that neither Melania nor Brigitte has any remote intention of helping, while Trump and Macron bury their dying approval ratings and, perhaps in Trump’s lawsuit, Michael Cohen’s paper trail from the Stormy Daniels case. And the Steele dossier. And all other intel on Russia. He’ll probably be finished by nightfall. Meanwhile, Brigitte has the constitute of persons who only landed a cherry-red and a green on her first two moves in video games of Twister.

Work it, Melania Photograph: Jonathan Ernst/ Reuters

Perhaps the best shot of the cluster, because: Melania. As well as illustrating the kind of epic whisker flick that belongs on catwalks or in shampoo adverts( which would make sense, presented Melania’s former modelling profession) it’s interesting to suppose what she might be obscuring under the cape. Perhaps a carry-on, containing all the stuff one needs when one is planning to run away from one’s awful partner? Or perhaps this is why the Macrons apparently didn’t need a plane, because Melania flew them over. We merely don’t know.

Harp at that! Photograph: Ludovic Marin/ AFP/ Getty Images

Please, give it up for random harmonica noblewoman. Your typical woodland theatre headliner at Latitude Festival. Note Trump’s tepid ripple- which, I’ll be honest, is probably the redres response. The others are ignoring the harmonica madam, in the manner of one accelerating one’s speed, psyche down, past a tube terminal busker with an eccentric instrument. I respect your decision to play the oboe sir, but is it genuinely working at the bottom of an escalator in King’s Cross?

She’s out Photograph: Saul Loeb/ AFP/ Getty Images

I’m gonna give the body-language is talking about itself here- because Melania, straight up, craves no part of this life any longer.


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