Its the first government stay of Donald Trumps presidency, and the dominance foursome are certainly delivered the goods

Never will we be gifted such a dream located of press photos as the three daytime Macron-Trump tete-a-tete, the first day of which has checked the foursome call the former home of George Washington and awkwardly plant a tree. As presents from France to the US know, some have pointed out that this tree is not exactly up there with the Statue of Liberty. The tree is more of a flowers-from-the-petrol station sort of effort.( It is, though, apparently significant foliage, in that the oak thrived on one of France’s former first world war battlegrounds ).

The Macrons’ expedition is the first state visit from foreign captains to Trump, who is the first president in 100 times not to have deemed a government visit in his first year of its term of office. It’s difficult to be a good legion, between watching Fox& Friends, tweeting relentlessly and egregiously offending most sections of society at a whim. But Trump elected the Macrons as a return invitation after he and Melania invested Bastille Day with the Macrons in Paris . Let us take a closer look at the latest pairs’ minibreak.

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Rolling the red carpet out, for, something … Photograph: Jacquelyn Martin/ AP

We begin with the above image, which I have titled, in homage to Magritte, Ceci n’est pas un avion . Because candidly, there is a glaring omission here.

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French President Macron and his wife, Brigitte, exiting their airliner. Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

I care about this image because Brigitte’s coat is amazing. There’s a Jackie Onassis colour-match here( albeit specifically the clothing Onassis wore on the day of JFK’s assassination ). The hair is Louis Vuitton, one of Brigitte’s favourite labels. The cigarette pants are tres French. Her husband is simply dressed as a standard Amis, ie. A Man in a Dres. But I note that Melania likewise preferred a French designer to wear( Givenchy, with Louboutin shoes ); more on this outfit anon.

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Jackie O wearing one of her trademark bold colour cases. Photograph: Vin Cataani/ EPA

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‘ So, you determine …’ Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

Here’s Macron doing” the Blair” side gesture, since developed as the centrist premiere hand-move du jour . We’ve seen Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau utilise it, and even Angela Merkel. I have never seen anybody other than a politician do this with mitts when they speak.

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Digging their own graves? Photograph: Jim Watson/ AFP/ Getty Images

The main event, the tree-planting. What I experience about this photograph is that neither Melania nor Brigitte has any remote intention of helping, while Trump and Macron bury their dying approval ratings and, perhaps in Trump’s instance, Michael Cohen’s paper trail from the Stormy Daniels case. And the Steele dossier. And all other intel on Russia. He’ll probably be finished by nightfall. Meanwhile, Brigitte has the constitute of persons who merely landed a ruby-red and a green on her first two moves in a game of Twister.

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Work it, Melania Photograph: Jonathan Ernst/ Reuters

Perhaps the best shot of the knot, because: Melania. As well as illustrating the kind of epic hair flick that belongs on catwalks or in shampoo adverts( which would make sense, caused Melania’s former modelling occupation) it’s interesting to theorize what she might be concealing under the cape. Perhaps a carry-on, containing all the stuff one needs when one is planning to run away from one’s awful partner? Or perhaps this is why the Macrons apparently didn’t need an aeroplane, because Melania flew them over. We precisely don’t know.

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Harp at that! Photograph: Ludovic Marin/ AFP/ Getty Images

Please, give it up for random harp dame. Your typical woodland stage headliner at Latitude Festival. Note Trump’s tepid brandish- which, I’ll be honest, is probably the correct response. The others are ignoring the harmonica noblewoman, in the manner of one quickening one’s gait, honcho down, past a tubing terminal busker with an eccentric instrument. I respect your decision to play the oboe sir, but is it genuinely working at the bottom of an escalator in King’s Cross?

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She’s out Photograph: Saul Loeb/ AFP/ Getty Images

I’m gonna let the body-language is talking about itself here- because Melania, straight up, craves no part of this life any longer.

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