Its the first state call of Donald Trumps presidency, and the strength foursome have really delivered the goods

Never will we be endowed such a dream determined of press photos as the three daytime Macron-Trump tete-a-tete, the first day of which has attended the foursome call the former dwelling of George Washington and awkwardly plant a tree. As presents from France to the US circulate, some have pointed out that this tree is not exactly up there with the Statue of Liberty. The tree is more of a flowers-from-the-petrol station sort of effort.( It is, though, apparently significant foliage, in that the oak developed on one of France’s former first world war battlefields ).

The Macrons’ tour is the firstly territory visit from foreign presidents to Trump, who is the first chairman in 100 times not to have propped a territory visit in his first time of its term of office. It’s difficult to be a good multitude, between watching Fox& Friends, tweeting relentlessly and egregiously offending most sectors of our society at a whim. But Trump selected the Macrons as a return invitation after he and Melania wasted Bastille Day with the Macrons in Paris . Let us take a closer look at the latest duets’ minibreak.

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Rolling the red carpet out, for, something … Photograph: Jacquelyn Martin/ AP

We begin with the above image, which I have titled, in homage to Magritte, Ceci n’est pas un avion . Because candidly, there is a glaring omission here.

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French President Macron and his wife, Brigitte, exiting their aircraft. Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

I care about this image because Brigitte’s coat is amazing. There’s a Jackie Onassis colour-match here( albeit specifically the clothing Onassis wore on the working day of JFK’s assassination ). The hair is Louis Vuitton, one of Brigitte’s favourite labels. The cigarette breathes are tres French. Her husband is simply garmented as a standard Amis, ie. A Man in a Clothing. But I note that Melania also elected a French designer to wear( Givenchy, with Louboutin shoes ); more on this outfit anon.

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Jackie O wearing one of her trademark daring colour casings. Photograph: Vin Cataani/ EPA

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‘ So, you attend …’ Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

Here’s Macron doing” the Blair” mitt gesture, since developed as the centrist premiere hand-move du jour . We’ve seen Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau utilise it, and even Angela Merkel. I have never seen anybody other than a politician do this with handwritings when they speak.

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Digging their own graves? Photograph: Jim Watson/ AFP/ Getty Images

The main event, the tree-planting. What I enjoy about this photograph is that neither Melania nor Brigitte has any remote intention of helping, while Trump and Macron bury their dying approval ratings and, perhaps in Trump’s event, Michael Cohen’s paper trail from the Stormy Daniels case. And the Steele dossier. And all other intel on Russia. He’ll probably be finished by nightfall. Meanwhile, Brigitte has the constitute of someone who precisely landed a crimson and a light-green on her first two moves in video games of Twister.

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Work it, Melania Photograph: Jonathan Ernst/ Reuters

Perhaps the best shot of the bunch, because: Melania. As well as expressing the various kinds of epic fuzz flick that belongs on catwalks or in shampoo adverts( which would make sense, contributed Melania’s former modelling busines) it’s interesting to conjecture what she might be obscuring under the cape. Perhaps a carry-on, containing all the stuff one needs when one is planning to run away from one’s awful partner? Or perhaps this is why the Macrons apparently didn’t need a plane, because Melania flew them over. We just don’t know.

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Harp at that! Photograph: Ludovic Marin/ AFP/ Getty Images

Please, give it up for random harmonica dame. Your usual woodland stage headliner at Latitude Festival. Note Trump’s tepid motion- which, I’ll be honest, is probably the chastise response. The others are ignoring the harp noblewoman, in the manner of one accelerating one’s speed, foreman down, past a tubing terminal busker with an eccentric instrument. I respect your decision to play the oboe sir, but is it certainly working at the bottom of an escalator in King’s Cross?

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She’s out Photograph: Saul Loeb/ AFP/ Getty Images

I’m gonna let the body-language speak for itself here- because Melania, straight up, requires no part of this life any longer.

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