Its the first territory stay of Donald Trumps presidency, and the dominance foursome have really delivered the goods

Never will we be endowed such a fantasy laid of press photos as the three epoch Macron-Trump tete-a-tete, the first day of which has ensure the foursome inspect the former residence of George Washington and awkwardly plant a tree. As portrays from France to the US extend, some have pointed out that this tree is not exactly up there with the Statue of Liberty. The tree is more of a flowers-from-the-petrol station sort of effort.( It is, though, apparently significant foliage, in that the oak thrived on one of France’s former first world war battlegrounds ).

The Macrons’ journey is the first state see from foreign managers to Trump, who is the first chairman in 100 years not to have impounded a commonwealth visit in his first time of office. It’s difficult to be a good legion, between watching Fox& Pal, tweeting relentlessly and egregiously piquing most sectors of our society at a caprice. But Trump selected the Macrons as a return invitation after he and Melania wasted Bastille Day with the Macrons in Paris . Let us take a closer look at the latest duos’ minibreak.

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Rolling the red carpet out, for, something … Photograph: Jacquelyn Martin/ AP

We begin with the above image, which I have titled, in homage to Magritte, Ceci n’est pas un avion . Because frankly, there is a glaring omission here.

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French President Macron and his wife, Brigitte, exiting their plane. Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

I care about this image because Brigitte’s coat is amazing. There’s a Jackie Onassis colour-match here( albeit specifically the clothing Onassis wore on the day of JFK’s assassination ). The hair is Louis Vuitton, one of Brigitte’s favourite labels. The cigarette throbs are tres French. Her husband is simply garmented as a standard Amis, ie. A Man in a Dres. But I note that Melania too preferred a French designer to wear( Givenchy, with Louboutin shoes ); more on this outfit anon.

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Jackie O attire one of her trademark bold colouring jackets. Photograph: Vin Cataani/ EPA

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‘ So, you see …’ Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

Here’s Macron doing” the Blair” hand gesture, since developed as the centrist premiere hand-move du jour . We’ve seen Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau utilise it, and even Angela Merkel. I have never seen anybody other than a politician do this with handwritings when they speak.

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Digging their own graves? Photograph: Jim Watson/ AFP/ Getty Images

The main event, the tree-planting. What I experience about this photograph is that neither Melania nor Brigitte has any remote intention of helping, while Trump and Macron bury their dying approval ratings and, perhaps in Trump’s lawsuit, Michael Cohen’s paper trail from the Stormy Daniels case. And the Steele dossier. And all other intel on Russia. He’ll probably be finished by nightfall. Meanwhile, Brigitte has the pose of someone who only landed a red and a green on her first two moves in a game of Twister.

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Work it, Melania Photograph: Jonathan Ernst/ Reuters

Perhaps the best shot of the cluster, because: Melania. As well as supporting the various kinds of epic hair movie that belongs on catwalks or in shampoo adverts( which would make sense, yielded Melania’s former modelling busines) it’s interesting to conjecture what she might be hiding under the cape. Perhaps a carry-on, containing all the stuff one needs when one is planning to run away from one’s awful partner? Or perhaps this is why the Macrons apparently didn’t need a plane, because Melania flew them over. We merely don’t know.

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Harp at that! Photograph: Ludovic Marin/ AFP/ Getty Images

Please, give it up for random harmonica noblewoman. Your typical woodland stage headliner at Latitude Festival. Note Trump’s tepid billow- which, I’ll be honest, is probably the redres response. The others are ignoring the harp maiden, in accordance with procedures of one accelerating one’s speed, thought down, past a tube terminal busker with an eccentric organ. I respect your decision to play the oboe sir, but is it actually working at the bottom of an escalator in King’s Cross?

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She’s out Photograph: Saul Loeb/ AFP/ Getty Images

I’m gonna let the body-language speak for itself here- because Melania, straight up, misses no part of this life any longer.

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