Its the first position visit of Donald Trumps presidency, and the ability foursome has truly delivered the goods

Never will we be offering such a nightmare set of press photos as the three day Macron-Trump tete-a-tete, the first day of which has received the foursome see the former residence of George Washington and awkwardly plant a tree. As acquaints from France to the US continue, some have pointed out that this tree is not exactly up there with the Statue of Liberty. The tree is more of a flowers-from-the-petrol station sort of effort.( It is, though, apparently substantial foliage, in that the oak flourished on one of France’s former first world war battlegrounds ).

The Macrons’ errand is the first position see from foreign leaders to Trump, who is the firstly president in 100 years not to have viewed a commonwealth visit in his first year of office. It’s difficult to be a good legion, between watching Fox& Sidekick, tweeting relentlessly and egregiously offending most sectors of our society at a impulse. But Trump picked the Macrons as a return invitation after he and Melania spent Bastille Day with the Macrons in Paris . Let us take a closer look at the latest duos’ minibreak.

Rolling the red carpet out, for, something … Photograph: Jacquelyn Martin/ AP

We begin with the above image, which I have titled, in homage to Magritte, Ceci n’est pas un avion . Because frankly, there is a glaring omission here.

French President Macron and his wife, Brigitte, departing their aircraft. Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

I care about this image because Brigitte’s coat is amazing. There’s a Jackie Onassis colour-match here( albeit specific the kit Onassis wore on the day of JFK’s assassination ). The hair is Louis Vuitton, one of Brigitte’s favourite descriptions. The cigarette pants are tres French. Her husband is simply garmented as a standard Amis, ie. A Man in a Dres. But I note that Melania likewise opted a French designer to wear( Givenchy, with Louboutin shoes ); more on this outfit anon.

Jackie O dres one of her logo bold quality cases. Photograph: Vin Cataani/ EPA

‘ So, you construe …’ Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

Here’s Macron doing” the Blair” mitt gesticulate, since developed as the centrist premier hand-move du jour . We’ve seen Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau utilise it, and even Angela Merkel. I have never seen anybody other than a politician do this with mitts when they speak.

Digging their own graves? Photograph: Jim Watson/ AFP/ Getty Images

The main event, the tree-planting. What I experience about this photograph is that neither Melania nor Brigitte has any remote intention of helping, while Trump and Macron bury their dying approval ratings and, perhaps in Trump’s event, Michael Cohen’s paper trail from the Stormy Daniels case. And the Steele dossier. And all other intel on Russia. He’ll probably be finished by nightfall. Meanwhile, Brigitte has the pose of persons who exactly landed a blood-red and a green on her first two moves in video games of Twister.

Work it, Melania Photograph: Jonathan Ernst/ Reuters

Perhaps the best shot of the bunch, because: Melania. As well as illustrating the various kinds of epic hair movie that belongs on catwalks or in shampoo adverts( which would make sense, demonstrated Melania’s former modelling occupation) it’s interesting to conjecture what she might be hiding under the cape. Perhaps a carry-on, containing all the stuff one needs when one is planning to run away from one’s awful partner? Or perhaps this is why the Macrons apparently didn’t need an aircraft, because Melania flew them over. We exactly don’t know.

Harp at that! Photograph: Ludovic Marin/ AFP/ Getty Images

Please, give it up for random harp dame. Your typical woodland stagecoach headliner at Latitude Festival. Note Trump’s tepid curve- which, I’ll be honest, is probably the correct response. The others are ignoring the harmonica female, in the manner of one accelerating one’s gait, premier down, past a tube station busker with an eccentric organ. I respect your decision to play the oboe sir, but is it really working at the bottom of an escalator in King’s Cross?

She’s out Photograph: Saul Loeb/ AFP/ Getty Images

I’m gonna let the body-language speak for itself here- because Melania, straight up, misses no part of this life any longer.


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