Its the first regime stay of Donald Trumps presidency, and the dominance foursome have really delivered the goods

Never will we be offering such a dream list of press photos as the three era Macron-Trump tete-a-tete, the first day of which has checked the foursome call the former dwelling of George Washington and awkwardly plant a tree. As presents from France to the US pas, some have pointed out that this tree is not exactly up there with the Statue of Liberty. The tree is more of a flowers-from-the-petrol station sort of effort.( It is, though, apparently substantial foliage, in that the oak ripened on one of France’s former first world war battlegrounds ).

The Macrons’ excursion is the first district stay from foreign leads to Trump, who is the firstly chairman in 100 times not to have comprised a country visit in his first year of office. It’s difficult to be a good host, between watching Fox& Friend, tweeting relentlessly and egregiously offending most sections of society at a caprice. But Trump selected the Macrons as a return invitation after he and Melania expended Bastille Day with the Macrons in Paris . Let us take a closer look at the latest duos’ minibreak.

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Rolling the red carpet out, for, something … Photograph: Jacquelyn Martin/ AP

We begin with the above image, which I have titled, in homage to Magritte, Ceci n’est pas un avion . Because frankly, there is a glaring omission here.

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French President Macron and his wife, Brigitte, exiting their airliner. Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

I care about this image because Brigitte’s coat is amazing. There’s a Jackie Onassis colour-match here( albeit specifically the organization Onassis wore on the day of JFK’s assassination ). The coating is Louis Vuitton, one of Brigitte’s favourite descriptions. The cigarette pants are tres French. Her husband is simply garmented as a standard Amis, ie. A Man in a Suit. But I note that Melania also opted a French designer to wear( Givenchy, with Louboutin shoes ); more on this outfit anon.

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Jackie O wearing one of her logo daring emblazon jackets. Photograph: Vin Cataani/ EPA

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‘ So, you envision …’ Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

Here’s Macron doing” the Blair” side gesture, since developed as the centrist premier hand-move du jour . We’ve seen Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau utilise it, and even Angela Merkel. I have never seen anybody other than a politician do this with sides when they speak.

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Digging their own graves? Photograph: Jim Watson/ AFP/ Getty Images

The main event, the tree-planting. What I enjoy about this photograph is that neither Melania nor Brigitte has any remote intention of helping, while Trump and Macron bury their dying approval ratings and, perhaps in Trump’s event, Michael Cohen’s paper trail from the Stormy Daniels case. And the Steele dossier. And all other intel on Russia. He’ll probably be finished by nightfall. Meanwhile, Brigitte has the pose of someone who simply landed a red and a light-green on her first two displaces in a game of Twister.

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Work it, Melania Photograph: Jonathan Ernst/ Reuters

Perhaps the best shot of the knot, because: Melania. As well as supporting the kind of epic whisker movie that belongs on catwalks or in shampoo adverts( which would make sense, payed Melania’s former modelling occupation) it’s interesting to conjecture what she might be hiding under the cape. Perhaps a carry-on, containing all the stuff one needs when one is planning to run away from one’s awful partner? Or perhaps this is why the Macrons apparently didn’t need a plane, because Melania flew them over. We just don’t know.

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Harp at that! Photograph: Ludovic Marin/ AFP/ Getty Images

Please, give it up for random harp female. Your typical woodland theatre headliner at Latitude Festival. Note Trump’s tepid wave- which, I’ll be honest, is probably the chastise response. The others are ignoring the harp dame, in the manner of one exciting one’s pace, top down, past a tubing terminal busker with an eccentric instrument. I respect your decision to play the oboe sir, but is it actually working at the bottom of an escalator in King’s Cross?

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She’s out Photograph: Saul Loeb/ AFP/ Getty Images

I’m gonna tell the body-language speak for itself here- because Melania, straight up, craves no part of this life any longer.

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