Its the first regime inspect of Donald Trumps presidency, and the dominance foursome have really extradited the goods

Never will we be offering such a nightmare change of press photos as the three daylight Macron-Trump tete-a-tete, the first day of which has heard the foursome see the former home of George Washington and awkwardly bush a tree. As presents from France to the US disappear, some have pointed out that this tree is not exactly up there with the Statue of Liberty. The tree is more of a flowers-from-the-petrol station kind of endeavor.( It is, though, apparently substantial foliage, in that the oak originated on one of France’s former first world war battlefields ).

The Macrons’ errand is the first state visit from foreign governors to Trump, who is the first chairman in 100 years not to have comprised a regime visit in his first time of office. It’s difficult to be a good host, between watching Fox& Friends, tweeting relentlessly and egregiously offending most sections of society at a caprice. But Trump opted the Macrons as a return invitation after he and Melania invested Bastille Day with the Macrons in Paris . Let us take a closer look at the latest couples’ minibreak.

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Rolling the red carpet out, for, something … Picture: Jacquelyn Martin/ AP

We begin with the above image, which I have titled, in homage to Magritte, Ceci n’est pas un avion . Because frankly, there is a glaring omission here.

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French President Macron and his wife, Brigitte, departing their plane. Image: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

I care about this image because Brigitte’s coat is amazing. There’s a Jackie Onassis colour-match here( albeit specific the outfit Onassis wore on the day of JFK’s assassination ). The coat is Louis Vuitton, one of Brigitte’s favourite labels. The cigarette pants are tres French. Her spouse is plainly garmented as a standard Amis, ie. A Soul in a Clothing. But I note that Melania likewise preferred a French decorator to wear( Givenchy, with Louboutin shoes ); more on this outfit anon.

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Jackie O wearing one of her trademark daring colouring casings. Picture: Vin Cataani/ EPA

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‘ So, you recognize …’ Photograph: Jim Lo Scalzo/ EPA

Here’s Macron doing” the Blair” handwriting gesture, since developed as the centrist premier hand-move du jour . We’ve seen Barack Obama and Justin Trudeau utilise it, and even Angela Merkel. I have never seen anybody other than a politician do this with hands when they speak.

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Digging their own mausoleums? Picture: Jim Watson/ AFP/ Getty Images

The main event, the tree-planting. What I experience about this photograph is that neither Melania nor Brigitte has any remote aim with assistance from, while Trump and Macron lay their dying approval ratings and, perhaps in Trump’s case, Michael Cohen’s paper trail from the Stormy Daniels action. And the Steele dossier. And all other intel on Russia. He’ll perhaps be finished by nightfall. Meanwhile, Brigitte has the constitute of persons who precisely landed a ruby-red and a dark-green on her first two moves in a game of Twister.

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Work it, Melania Photograph: Jonathan Ernst/ Reuters

Perhaps the best shot of the cluster, because: Melania. As well as demonstrating the type of epic “hairs-breadth” movie that belongs on catwalks or in shampoo adverts( which would make sense, committed Melania’s former pattern occupation) it’s interesting to theorize what she might be hiding for the purposes of the cape. Perhaps a carry-on, containing all the stuff one requires when one is planning to run away from one’s awful partner? Or perhaps this is why the Macrons apparently didn’t need a plane, because Melania piloted them over. We merely don’t know.

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Harp at that! Photograph: Ludovic Marin/ AFP/ Getty Images

Please, cause it up for random harmonica maid. Your typical woodland theatre headliner at Latitude Festival. Note Trump’s tepid motion- which, I’ll be honest, is probably the correct response. The others are neglecting the harp noblewoman, in the manner of one invigorating one’s pace, thoughts down, past a tubing station busker with an eccentric device. I respect your decision to play the oboe sir, but is it genuinely working at the bottom of an escalator in King’s Cross?

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She’s out Photograph: Saul Loeb/ AFP/ Getty Images

I’m gonna let the body-language speak for itself here- because Melania, straight up, craves no part of “peoples lives” any longer.

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