Guess what, good parties? The world-wide is ending again, and not for the first time, I’m seeing it an hindrance .

I still recollect my first know “of the worlds” pointing. I was just over the loss of my babe teeth when everyone else started rambling on about some bloke announced Nostradamus and how we were all fated. There “wouldve been” inundations followed by some kind of comet squall. It resounded hellish. I woke up in in the middle of the nighttime, gazed out of the window and ascertained torrential torrent calling down the road at right angles.For a good hour I sat watching what I thought was the end as I sobbed into my joints. And then the rain stopped and no comet gale followed. That’s when I learnt that this is England, I’d mostly precisely been watching the weather.

In May 2011 we had to go through everything there is again. The eBible Fellowship called it this time. What a tendernes in the backside it all was. How were we supposed to enjoy the Royal Wedding just knowing that our planet would cease to exist before the glad couple even reverted from their honeymoon? Frankly, these parties that kill off the world genuinely need to be more considerate of major events.

Then came 2012. The most disappointing of the spate. It was kind of like New Year’s eve is for most people. All hype.

The eBible Fellowship schemed their sequel for exactly 1,600 days after their first large-hearted bash, which was October 7 th this year. The timing couldnt have been worse. The quantity of stress I met people under as they lay awake at night know … … if they will ever get to play Fallout 4, or if Segways has certainly be the most in mode of transport when they exhaledtheir last breather. The humiliation of it. Nobody deserves to think that theyre going out with that cloud of chagrin hanging over their heads.

That same risking Fellowship are now busy scheduling the exact date that the third largest installment of their doomsday trilogy will plunge, but that doesnt matter to me because I wont is right there. Nope, some tormentor croaking by the refer of Brussel Sprout, I kid you not, has said that his version of the world purposing is currently in December of this year. Enough is enough, I cant take it anymore.

Thanks to Brussel Sprout I will now spend the next month with my blood boilingknowing that Jose Mourinho has been offering the perfect forgive. I can just see him at the press conference, ‘ It’s not my fault, the world is ending, the players are scared’ . At least Ill get to play Fallout 4, but what about Jon Snow? Hell be the cliff hanger that dangled for immortality. Nope, bolt this, Im out of here.

Mars seems like the most sensible destination.Matt Damon is already up there so Ill have a somecompany to enjoy. I was belief I could take him a print of The Martian as a gift. If I show up and present him with a movie documenting his life story itd is just like the bestest most astute surpriseever, were bound to be pals for life after that.

Thinking of logistics, Ill necessary at least one person to stop me off in a space-taxi so I figured I could save on the costs by sharing with a few others. Not to mention that we will need some women to inhabit the planet. With a duo squeezed in the boot we could probably fit six in all, so Im looking for five volunteers to come with me to Mars the next time “the worlds” ends.

If you, like me, are sick of the world perpetually objective like this then get in touch. Applicants will be accepted on afirst come first dished basis, unless someone better comes along .

@MikeBurt0n

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