When youre in college, spring is a duration for upchuck in Mexico and drawing all-nighters to make up for months of not going to class. But as soon as you graduate, spring turns into the season where all your previously enjoyable, slutty pals decide to settle down, get married, and probs cut their hair into a lob following the end of their honeymoon. This is also known as marriage season. Just trust me on this, college betches. It will happen to you.

And while the free booze and seeing your friends is cool and all, the influx of wedding pics on your timeline is just ridiculous. Like, Jesus Jenny. You and Timmy got married three years ago. Can you fucking stop with the bridal posts and feigning youre still glad and having good copulation? No one is buying it. To ensure you dont end up just like Jenny, heres an investigation into how long its appropriate to keep wedding shit as your prof pics.

To conduct this investigation, I scoured through all my married friends’ Facebook pages and divided them into three categories: Truly cool, fun married couples; lame af married couple; and normal, somewhere in the middle married couples. Groundbreaking, I know. You can call me Dr. Vanderbetch. From there, I appraised the averages for how long they preserved their marries photos up and this is what I found.

If you want to be cool: 6-8 months. Hopefully after six to eight months of wedding you and your hubby have done at the least one thing worthy of a chart pic. Like, IDK, your honeymoon? Side note, why does nothing post honeymoon chart pics? I would rather receive two normal people on a beach than one daughter from my highschool wearing five pounds of makeup and an outdated updo. Anyway. Changing your profile pic less than a year from your marry says “yeah my wed was refrigerate and all but it wasn’t the spotlight of my life” and likewise “I actually wanted to get married for more than just the big-hearted party.”

If you want to be average : 9 months-1 time. A year is the maximum acceptable time to leave that shit up before everyone starts judging youlike, why won’t you let go of your marry? It was literally one nighttime out of your entire life. I don’t want to reverberate paranoid or anything, but anyone who leaves their wed chart envision up for longer than a year is obscuring something. Frequently one of the following 😛 TAGEND

1. They gained 60 pounds the moment they took off their wedding dress. And no, they’re not even expectingjust fat.

2. They completely stopped doing anything remotely enjoyable and their best and only friend are their in-laws.

3. Their marriage is a joyless barren and their wedding night was the last glad remember they shared as a duet( that is, before the bridegroom get wasted and wasted the entire darknes vomiting so they didn’t even have sex ).

If you want to be the fucking worst: Just leave that shit up forever.

If youre sitting there speaking this like, or something else shocking along those lines, shed some sea on your look, booze some vodka and think about what your previously single soul would think of the person youve grown. Okay. Now that thats done. Heres why: Awesome, shivering married couples do cool shit when they are get married. They go on errands and, ya know, still have friends other than their fucking spouse. And therefore have other pics they miss peeps to construe. Mic drop.

So there you have it, I highly advise you take that shit down after 6 months, 8 months pinnacles. I do, nonetheless, give you permission to post them again on commemorations. BUT ONLY anniversaries. And you only get one image. I do not want to see your entire fucking bridal album every year on your anniversary. There’s no way your marriage was even that merriment. And don’t even get me started on the No genuinely. Don’t get me started. I could write a 5,000 text essay on all the terrible sappy adoration poles I see.

Youre welcome, basic wives.