Cancun? For your honeymoon? Groundbreaking. Mexico, for some conclude Ill never understand, has become the most popular recognize for newlyweds. Pretty much, if this is what you choose, youre clich af. Your centre probs booked this for you and freaked the fuck out when he found a place where all the food was included. Bless him and his cheap-ass middle. Youll enjoy yourself, but secretly youll be thinking about how much more recreation you had in Mexico during outpouring violate sophomore year and how so much more the sex was with Johnny the Sigma Chi than your new marriage. Bummer. Like your unoriginal honeymoon alternative, youll live a quite basic life. In a few years, youll move to the outskirt, pop out a few kids and live a wholly boring life.
Youre doing the honeymoon for the ‘gram and everyone knows it. You care a lot what people consider and want to come off as way more cultured and original than your other newlywed sidekicks who are laying on a beach somewhere. Your best remembrances were probs from when you studied abroad in Europe and you obliged your fianc into booking this errand instead of an all-inclusive somewhere because you wanted to construct those same reminiscences with him. Vom. Because you care so much about what beings make, your matrimony looks perfect to strangers but behind closed- door some serious shit goes down. Youll simulate everything is okay until you catch him clamping his secretary and then youll furrow his ass and take his money with you. Mazel!
3. Anywhere In The Continental U.S.
I mean, seriously? I know the Grand Canyon is pretty and Napa has some of the worlds better wine-colored, but live a bit. You only tied yourself to one person and missionary sexuality for the rest of their own lives, the least you can do is leave the country. When you stay stateside, you clear the Mexico crew was like true-blue wanderlustersthats how fucking lame you are. When people ask why youre not actually going somewhere, youll behave all holier than thou about not needing a fancy trip-up because marrying your soulmate is celebration enough but deep down youre already starting to hysterium about how uneventfully your life is washing out. I’m not saying anyone who has their honeymoon in the U.S. is destined to have a mid-life crisis where they freak out, fuck the hot brand-new intern at their task, and have a chaotic divorce, but I’m also not saying that.
4. French Polynesia
Tahiti, Bora Bora and the likes are reserved for the super prosperous romantic categories. Sure, most honeymoons expenditure more than what a pair can afford, but it takes genuine fund is allowed to drop $20 k on a week-long vacay. Like, I cant do that even if I wanted to.( Ok, you got me, I want to .) Your marriage is probably in commerce or taking over their own families business, while you have household fund but was also able to territory a murderer PR job right out of college. When you decide to have kids youll hire at least three nannies and say its because youre working parents, but certainly its because you dont want to give up your luxurious life-style of traveling all over the world and black tie galas.
Anywhere in the Caribbean tends to be a popular alternative when it comes to choosing the perfect place for a honeymoon. There are different islands for different vibes: Jamaica and Puerto Rico for median peeps, St. Barts and Anguilla for the bougie betches, and a bunch of shit in the middle. If you go to the Caribbean after your wedding youre most likely the life of the party and everyone likes you. Youre not as lame as the peoples of the territories going to Mexico but not as snobby the Bora Bora gang. Youll live in the city for a few years and then move to an up-and-coming outskirt when you decide to start a fam. Your kids will probs be cool extremely and youll grow old with your cool little family.
Like the newlyweds that go to Europe, you care what WAY too much people conclude and cant just waiting post honeymoon pics of your Asian adventure on social media, but rather than being a sophisticated, Upper East side type, youre a hipster duo that composts all your litter and evaluates the shit out of people who repute Starbucks is good coffee. In other words, your marry had mason flasks and burlap and you’re kind of the worst. When you get home, youll tell everyone that find the Tian Tan Buddha statue in Hong Kong was the most extraordinary time of your life, but you actually liked travelling elephants in Thailand better. In the future, youll sell your apartment in the city to get a minuscule compartment or an RV or some other hipster bullshit in the middle of nowhere. Youll go off the grid and no one will miss you. Oh, and you inhale a lot of weed.
Hawaii is for the couple who, despite being in their late 20 s, is actually like fucking 40 years old at heart. If this is you, you stopped taking family planning on the wedding night and will probably was pregnant sometime during the trip because youre ready to be a mummy like, yesterday. The wedding ceremony was in a church that youve been going to your whole life and there was a receipt right after in a barn with only beer and wine. Id bet your last name is Smith or Jones. In a few years, youll become the president of the PTA and start a blog about motherhood called Mom-Stop, a play on non-stop that no one will pick up on.
8. A Cruise
Are you fucking kidding me? A cruise? For your honeymoon? Gross. Thats all.